


I'm Here For You

by AoKoiClem



Series: Aro/Ace Fics [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Sugawara Koushi, Aromantic Sugawara Koushi, Asexual Sugawara Koushi, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Sugawara Koushi, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, If You Squint - Freeform, Karasuno Family, M/M, Not Beta Read, Protective Nishinoya Yuu, Queerplatonic Relationships, Trans Azumane Asahi, Worried Azumane Asahi, Worried Sawamura Daichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26209534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AoKoiClem/pseuds/AoKoiClem
Summary: Suga has always known that they're aromantic. They've never had a problem with it, never felt like they weren't normal. However, everything they've known for the past 3 years shatters when their best friend tells them that he's in love with them.Daichi is in love with Suga, Suga loves Daichi....surely the answer is obvious.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Series: Aro/Ace Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906483
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	I'm Here For You

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Panic attacks and vomiting (briefly described twice)  
> please don't read if this will trigger you, take care of your mental health :3 
> 
> Teen for panic attacks, the word sex and like one curse XD

Suga blanched at Daichi's words. Surely. _Surely_ they had heard him wrong. There was no way those words just tumbled out of their best friends mouth. Those five words Suga never wanted to hear. They couldn't. They can't do this to their best friend. Their stomach twisted and flopped. Not in a good way. Not in the way their stomach was supposed to flop when you hear those words.

Their best friend was looking at them with such vulnerable eyes. Emotions pouring from his eyes. A small smile on his lips. There was a single red rose in his hands. His head was tilted. Those eyes staring straight into Suga's 

Suga trembled. God, they were going to be sick. They didn't want this to happen. They didn't want to break their best friend's heart. _They had to have heard him wrong._ Right? Suga licked their lips, swallowing the dread bubbling in their throat. "W-what?" 

Daichi looked a touch nervous now, "I'm in love with you," he repeated softly. His eyes scanned Suga. "I'm in love with everything you do, I have been since I met you." The words were so soft, so vulnerable, so loving. 

Suga couldn't stop the tears. "Daichi..." they croaked. Their throat felt like it was going to close in on itself. "I'm _so_ sorry...you have to believe me. I'm-" Suga couldn't talk. What were they supposed to say? _I can't be in love with you. I can't love you the way you want me to._ Suga sniffed, "I can't do this. I'm sorry, Daichi." 

Suga spun around and ran for the exit of the gym. They reached the door. It was before school. The team was supposed to practice. Suga glanced back to look at Daichi, his eyes were wide and broken. Suga's heart clenched. They did that. _They did that._

Suga shoved the door open and brushed past Noya and Asahi. The two just arrived, clueless as to what had happened. Suga ran. and ran. What were they supposed to do? What could they do? How were they going to fix this? 

They sat in their car. Trembling. Shaking. Sobbing. Chills ran down their entire body. A heavy weight pressed on their chest. Their binder seemed to squeeze tighter and tighter. They gasped for any oxygen they could get, a strangled wheeze echoed throughout the car. Their sweaty palms wiped at their tears. _I'm sorry!_ Daichi's wide and hurt eyes haunted Suga. "I'm sorry." It was a broken whisper. _I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you. I promise._

Their friendship was perfect for so long. They playfully teased each other. Suga would punch Daichi in the shoulder and laugh as Daichi wheezed. Daichi would smile and wrap his arm around Suga's shoulders and brag about how awesome his setter was. _His_ setter. Captain and vice captain of the Karasuno team. Suga gently guides the first years vs Daichi's no bullshit personality. It fit, the perfect friendship.

Suga blindly reached for the handle on the door. Vile rose in their throat. Their stomach contracted violently. Clear liquid splat onto the ground. Suga choked on a sob. Another wave of nausea hit them, they dry heaved. Nothing coming up. Suga felt invisible hands claw at their throat.

The bell signaling the start of class rang. Suga raised their eyes towards the gym and saw Daichi walking slowly. The hurt and sadness could be seen from even this far away. The rose lay limply in Daichi's hand. Daichi looked up, towards Suga's parking spot. Their eyes met for a moment. Daichi's lips pressed together. The rose fell. Suga sobbed as Daichi walked towards the school building. Suga's heart crumpled. The loved Daichi. They loved him so much. So much it hurt to see him upset. Suga hated seeing Daichi upset in any way shape or form and now they'd gone and caused one of the worst types of pain. Heartbreak. 

Suga didn't know how long they'd sat in their car. They thought about showing up to practice. _No. I can't hurt him anymore._ Suga left. Gone home. They climbed in bed, brushing off their parents worried cries. 

Suga woke up hours later. They checked their phone. 7pm. They missed practice. Their stomach twisted again. Tugging and pulling until more clear liquid splattered across his floor. Their throat burned. Their eyes burned. Their heart burned. They'd messed up. They hurt Daichi. _I love him_. Suga looked at their hands. For a moment, just a moment they wished they were normal so they could give Daichi what he wanted. 

6 Unread messages. 

**3:30pm:**

**Nishinoya: Suga? Where are you?**

**Nishinoya: Are you missing practice?**

**Nishinoya: Did something happen between you and Daichi? He's....sitting out practice.**

**4:00pm:**

**Asahi: Koushi?**

**Asahi: Are you okay? Something happened between you and Daichi, Right?**

**Asahi: I'm coming over.**

Suga choked on their emotions. There were no more tears left but their throat tightened. They hated this. They wanted to hug their bestfriend. They wanted this to be okay. Suga's blood ran cold when their door clicked open. They looked up and saw Asahi. Asahi looked sympathetic. 

"Kou..." Asahi made his way towards Suga's bed. Sitting softly on the end of it. "Koushi what happened?" 

That was it. Suga let out another sob. Tears they didn't know they had spilled out. "He loves me. Daichi loves me." Suga's voice cracked. Pure terror could be heard in their voice. 

Asahi sighed and crawled beside Suga. Suga had always been touchy feely. Asahi wrapped his arms around Suga. Gently pulling them towards his chest. Suga cried out and tried to push away but went limp when Asahi ran his fingers through their hair. "Is that a bad thing, Kou? That he loves you? I thought you loved him?" 

Suga whimpered. "I _do_ love him! I do! I just can't love him how he wants me to love him!" Suga tried to curl up, make themself as small as possible. "He's in love with me and I can't love him like that! I-I hurt him! I didn't want to hurt him! I didn't! But I can't!" 

Asahi didn't say anything at Suga's confession to being aromantic. He just let Suga cry. Suga sniffled then spoke again, "I can't imagine my life without him. I imagine myself in 20 years and he's there. He's there making burnt waffles." Suga started to cough. 

"Calm down, Kou. It's going to be okay. I promise. Making yourself sick isn't going to help." Asahi ran his hand through Suga's hair again. Suga's sobs died down to whimpers. 

"How is it supposed to be okay? I just lost my best friend! I hurt him! I-I broke his heart! It hurts! I love him and he- he's hurting because of me!" Suga wasn't angry at Asahi. They were mad at themself. 

"You can't decide how he feels for you, Kou. You can't make that decision. He loves you so much Koushi. It's up to him to decide if the love your able to give him is enough but you have to talk to him." Asahi muttered softly as Suga sniffled pathetically. 

"What if it's not enough?" They asked, terrified of the possibility.

"That's up to him." 

"Should I call him?" Suga shifted to glance towards Asahi. Their heart thumping painfully. 

"Do _you_ want to call him?" 

Suga nodded, "I don't want him to hate me..." 

Asahi smiled, "Kou, Daichi could never hate you. Here." Asahi slid Suga's phone towards them. 

Suga dialed Daichi. They instantly regretted it and went to hang up but Daichi had already picked up. Suga held the phone to their ear.

"Are you okay, Kou?" Daichi sounded genuinely worried. Suga wanted to sob. How could they mess up so bad. Daichi wasn't supposed to ask that. Daichi was supposed to be angry or upset with them. 

"Y-You're not supposed to ask that, Daichi. I-I hurt you. Your eyes" Suga whimpered and Asahi quickly muttered soothing words to them. 

"Is that Asahi? Kou! Are you okay? D-do you need me to come over? I'm worried! Suga?" Daichi panicked. Suga could already see him running around his room, trying to pull on a pair of jeans and trying to find his keys. 

Suga let themself sob. "Daichi, I'm sorry," 

There was silence on Daichi's end for a moment, "It's okay, Kou. You're my best friend before you're anything else and I'll respect that but-" Daichi paused and Suga felt anxiety clawing at his throat. "but I need to know if you're okay. I saw you...in your car. God Koushi. Tell me you're okay. 

Suga nodded numbly, "I- I don't know. Can we talk? Before practice? I- I have to explain." Suga didn't know what they were doing. They would regret asking this in the morning when they actually had to come face to face with their best friend. 

"Koushi. You don't have to explain. I pushed a boundary and I realized that. You don't need to explain yourself to me." 

"Daichi. Please. I need to. I know I don't have to but I really need to. I _need_ you to understand. I-I have to- we have to-" Suga screwed their eyes shut.

"Okay." Daichi replied softly, "tomorrow before practice. I-" Daichi paused. "I hope you're okay." 

Suga eventually fell asleep crying into Asahi's chest. Asahi knew better than to leave Suga alone like that. They were hurt, scared. They thought they had lost their best friend. That's a terrifying experience. 

Suga fiddled with their fingers. They were right. They regretted this. They couldn't. What were they supposed to say? How could they say it? God, god, god. This wasn't right. This isn't how it's supposed to go. 

"Koushi?" Daichi. Suga's eyes snapped up to meet Daichi's. Suga was pacing back and forth. Scared. Worried. Nervous. They felt all those emotions again. They couldn't cry. They had to explain.

Rip off the bandaid. "I love you-" Suga blurted causing Daichi to look confused, "but I'm not in love with you," Suga turned away. they didn't want to see their best friend's heart ache. "When I imagine my life in 20 years. You're there. Waking up beside me. Cooking burnt pancakes and waking me up because i always sleep in too late a-and we'd cuddle on the couch and watch reruns of that stupid reality tv show you love. I don't want to lose you. and I hate the thought of you dating anyone else! It's selfish because I can't give you that. I can't give you what you want." 

"How do you know that?" Daichi cut Suga off, taking a couple steps closer to his best friends. A fire burning in his eyes. "How do you know that you can't give me what I want?" Daichi didn't even blink. 

Suga gaped, "I-I can't- I can't love you romantically...I don't like doing a lot of romantic things. Kissing. Sex, Im ace- I don't. I can't be in love with you, Daichi what else could you want from me?" Suga looked into Daichi's eyes. Confusion swirled in their chest. 

Daichi sighed, "Koushi, Do you love me?" 

Suga blinked, "I just said I can't! Were you even listening! I knew something like this would happen! God! Daichi! I CAN'T!" 

Daichi tilted his head, "Kou, I didn't ask if you were in love with me..." Daichi said slowly 

Suga frowned, "what...?" 

"I asked if you loved me." 

Suga gulped, "I-I love you like I love Asahi. More, you're my other half. I couldn't live without you-" 

Daichi smiled, making Suga freeze. "That's enough, Kou. You love me, what more could I ask of you? I know it's not the same love I feel for you but that's okay. It's okay Kou." 

Suga blinked. Tears welling in their eyes once again. Their heart thumped. Tears trickled down their face. Daichi. It was okay? A familiar love swelled in his chest. Overwhelming love for their best friend. "Dai-" The words died out when Daichi wrapped his arms around Suga. Suga eagerly returned the affection. 

"I see you in my life too. I'll make all the burnt pancakes and wake you up with platonic forehead kisses if that'll make you happy Kou. I'll cuddle you on the couch and run my hand through your hair, you love that. I'll record more reruns of my show than I could possibly watch if It means I can spend time with you. Come home to you. I'll take any form of love you'll offer, Kou." Daichi pulled a squished dandelion out of his jacket. "It's not an exact replacement for the rose but..." Daichi grinned. 

Suga smiled tearfully and gave a small smile. Holding their hand out for the dandelion. "It's perfect, Daichi." they said softly. 

It wasn't traditional by any means but these two loved each other more than they could explain even if it was in different ways. They would be okay if they had each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic randomly hit me at 1am so here y'all go, if you have any requests im always down for those :p so just comment 'em. (nothing nsfw) This is also partly a vent fic but its only if you squint XD so don't worry bout that lmao 
> 
> also I wrote this in like less than 2 hours so there is 100% some errors throughout it but oh well and Asahi is a bit ooc imo but that might just be me but ehh- 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed!


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